Working mom’s guilt is an ill-feeling that creeps in every mom now and then when she starts feeling that she isn’t ‘good enough for her children when she feels that she is unable to spend time with her children. Essentially this feeling is fuelled when she feels that she is not an ‘ideal mom’. It is a natural tendency to feel this way because when motherhood and career are combined it leads to a conflict of duties. This is a major stressor in a working mother’s life as she feels inadequate and beats her for not being productive at work while indulging in childcare. She often indulges in negative self-talk and keeps on comparing herself to other women and eventually starts feeling burnout.
Working women are plagued with guilt. This guilt arises from the conditioning received by women right from the beginning where childcare is considered a mother’s work. Moreover, other mothers thrive on critiquing regarding parenting proficiency which not only leads to comparison but creates frustration. These women constantly lay down rules and ideals of right parenting. However, there is no one right way to raising children.
How to deal with working mom’s guilt?
- Let go of the perfection syndrome- while we always strive to make the best choices for our children, it’s nearly impossible to be a perfect parent. Further this need to be a perfect parent arises from social expectations. Simply let go of the need to be perfect and set your priorities clear and don’t get overwhelmed by the bombardment of suggestions.
- Seek help- mothers have a really hard time seeking help from others. They want to be to-do-it all people not realizing that they are putting themselves under so much pressure.
- Revisit your values- this is crucial because there is no one fixed rule of good parenting. Working moms are to decide their values and priorities and then make choices without making themselves feel small.